i have never felt this way for anyone before. and i thought that things between me and you were starting to look perfect. i felt loved, treasured and special. cos i know to you that i was beautiful and that you would love me for me. you didnt find fault with my imperfections, except tt u asked me to lose weight.
for more than 2 years.. i tried my best to give this relationship all i could. i love you for you. i love my baobei.. i had a special tigger... and then it was all my silly-ness and i decided that booboo sounded cute. and that it was special.. i love you for all that cheekyness and all that happiness you gave me. for all the times you surprsied me and made the effort to come spend time with me.. and for all the love and care you showedd. deep down inside.. i was really really happy that i found you. despite what everyone said, and how everyone felt about you.. i knew that they were wrong.. and you were definately not as bad or as terrible or as zaogao as they had said u were. i believed that you would treat me right.. and i knew that when i was with you, regardless of whether i showed it or not, it was the happiest times in my life.
the relationship with my booboo, my hero meant the world to me. and my baobei knew better than i did how much it meant. it meant more than anything money could buy.. cos i know that the love and care he showed me was something no amount of branded goods could replace.. no lv or gucci bag as special and as wonderful as being with you. each time things didnt seem so right, i tried to salvage what i could.. and to think and hope for the best. i tried in my own ways to make sure u felt loved..to make sure u were happy... to love u unconditionally. something i never thought i would do.. but i still did.
the 07/08 holidays were supposed to be one of the best holidays cos i thought u wld be coming over to sgp to spend some time with me. and i was looking forward to spending time with my baobei before school started. and i looked forward to it all year.. things didnt start out right as you had other plans and you had to help out at home.. and i had supps (yes, supps again).. and we never really got the time to do the things we wanted to do.. and it just suxed that we never really had time to spend with one another... and the less time we spend talking the more time apart made me miss you more and more..
i know u have given in to me alot of times to try and make me happy. but we really never got the chance to work things our properly.... and the more work we had on our hands, the less u spoke.. and the deeper the misunderstanding and hurt was. i never want to be apart from you.. i miss spending time with you.. and i miss the warmth of being in ur arms, the cheeky grins u give, the silly things we do... the time was just fa-dai and the times we watch drama serials at no end.. and end up not sleeping cos we cant take the suspense... i miss having u by my side.. knowing that u wld always be my shoulder to cry on.. knowing that you care for me.. and that u wont let anyone hurt me.. not even you...
i learn to love, to love unconditionally, to give whatever i could just to make u happy. to love you for you. for some high & mighty person u try to be.. cos i know deep down inside.. u are someone who really cares. i have learned to trust you, and not to doubt the things you say even though sometimes they dont seem all that right. i have learned to give you space to let u do the things you enjoy with or without me. i learn to believe that everything you do is for a reason...
the 28th will never be the same again. for the 28th is something that meant something to me, to us. someday that was special and will always be. the memories we shared that were meant to last a lifetime wld be treasured.
you said to do what makes me happy.. but u wont give me the chance to continue to love you. and that if i love you, i will let u go. so despite all the pain and hurt it is gg to put me thru.. i hope that letting you go will make u happier. that letting you go wld mean that there wld be less hurt and pain.. n less tiring for you. and that by letting you go, u will be truly happy. (although u said that it will hurt if we are together, and it will hurt if we arent.) i respect ur decision. and i hope it is the best for you.
i doubt i will ever be the same again.. since i dont have the person i love the most by my side. i;m hurting inside.. and no amount of time will heal the hurt. and the pain that this is causing me. no amount of money or branded goods (esp my fav lv bags) will mend the hole in my heart. but i;ll try and be strong... so that u will really be happy.
i miss you my baobei, my sunshine... i miss us. despite me being overseas, and a million miles from you, i always love u and think of you.. and maybe someday.. we will be us once again.
