its the time of the year of flowers, chocolates & all those sweet romantic dates tt have been nicely planned to impress. and yes, how i wish tt was the case... but its valentines day.. and i'm sitting at the hospital behind a computer blogging. how sad can that be...
time is suppose to heal all wounds and that maybe heart tissue can really re-generate so hopefully the pain wont be so bad.. but each and everyday, it seems harder and harder to let go of what means so muich to me. each day is a reminder of the happy times we cld have had or the many things we said we wld try and achieve in the hosp. each day it is a challenge to try and not bug u all day or to try and hang out with u after uni. i try not to call or sms u once uni is over ewirther so that u can spend time with ur family while i go back to my empty little shell.. and spend time doing things on my own. or better still hide in the hosp behind the computers trying to do my work so that it wld try and take my mind of things. and go back later in the evening... so i wont have to spend so much time on my own in the apt.
i dunno what more to say to you sometimes. i dunno how to tell u whats going thru my head. maybe this whole process would make me realise and apprecaite all the things u have done for me over the last 2 years and all the effort u put into maintaining both the friendhsip & the relationship. each time i go home to an an empty apartment, i so wish that u were here to fill the space, to make an empty shell a home.. so fill it with all the laughter, all the sillyness and of course, all ur tempers and raised voices. each time i fall asleep on the table or on the sofa, i remember the times u looked after me, made me sleep in my bed and made sure that i was tucked into bed under the bl;anket so i wldnt catch a cold. each morning when i wake up to my alarm clock tt has been on snooze for like forever.. and am still feeling tired... it makes me remember all the times tt i am too tried to drive and that u will drive me to uni even though u are tired too... i learn to apprecaite each and everything u;ve done.. and maybe i;m the one learning the hard way...
maybe valentines day to me isnt abt all the sweet things u can do.. but a reminder that everyday cld have been valentines had i been more appreciative of the times we had....
i really miss u. i miss us. but most importantly, i miss the person whom i can confide in.. the person i cld share both my joys and s0rrows with.,.. the shoulder i knew i cld cry on...
